Dear "You Were Made For Me" ~Anonymous

The Anonymous Email I Received From a Donor Conceived Individual

“I appreciate the message, but not the tone. I appreciate people making resources to help parents tell their donor conceived offspring at a young age about being donor conceived - I really do. But as a donor conceived person I find the title of this book so offensive.

I am open to all types of family formation and conception experiences but am not the property of my parent, nor is my purpose to be theirs. I was not made for anyone. I would think a revision of I was made to be loved or I was made to change the world would be ok.

My mother has the attitude that I was made for her and I cannot help but think if we work together to put a more positive and inclusive message out there, the world would be a much easier place for donor conceived people all all ages to navigate. My mother is an incredibly loving and giving person, but she believes that I was made for her because she wanted me so bad and has nothing but love for me. However the message of having someone making me for her is probably the reason she, and many recipient parents, still hang on to their receipts - I recently met a recipient mother who told me she has kept all her receipts to give to her son to show him how much she wanted him and how much effort went into making him. I can't help but think she has the same attitude - that he was made for her, and this is how much she paid for him.

Keep up the work, but please think of all angles - I know it's not easy. Maybe speak to some DC people, there are plenty of us out there of all ages and a lot of DC people just want to be heard so that they can help future generations.

~Anonymous DC Person