"Love Makes A Family" Blog Series Sheri Sturniolo: Author of You Were Meant For Me & Mom via Embryo Donation

Celebrating the unique ways families are made

& the journey of love

that brings them together

My name is Sheri Sturniolo and I am the mother of two precious babes born to me through the awesome gift of embryo donation. I never thought I’d get to motherhood the way that I did, but am so grateful that this path to parenthood was chosen for me. Because of this family building option, two beautiful little souls got their chance at life and love and my husband and I got the chance to be their parents. I wrote the children’s book, You Were Made For Me, for my own children to begin introducing the uniqueness of their creation story as they grow. Here is a little Q & A with myself for the “Love Makes A Family” Blog Series! Please DM me if you are interested in sharing your family’s journey too!

Q: How did you feel the first time you knew you a biological child would not be likely?

A: After a year of TTC and one miscarriage we had some blood work drawn. My OBGYN reported that the levels that indicate ovarian reserve (AKA the “egg timer” test), where “UNDETECTABLE” and a fertility specialist would likely be my next step. I remember sitting in the car as my husband drove us home just sobbing heavy sobs. I am a fairly pragmatic individual so in that moment I had already resolved myself to the fact that I was not going to play a part in my child’s genetic biology. I knew the path was going to be long and hard and the sobs were heavy with that thought. Even though it wasn’t a physical loss, it was an emotional loss. Just as others feel the loss of a pregnancy or the loss of a baby, although different, this was still a loss. It was a loss of hope for me, a loss of what, up until that moment, I had imagined for myself and motherhood and grieving that loss was an important part to my journey.

Q: What was the hardest, yet most transformative moments in your decision to choose motherhood via embryo donation?

A: As my doctor had predicted, I never made enough eggs to justify an egg retrieval. So, after 4 IUIs and 2 miscarriages we tried IVF using donor eggs. Imagine the exhilaration when the donor retrieval provided 26 beautiful eggs!!! Now, imagine the next day when the embryologist calls you to report that ZERO, yes ZERO, eggs had fertilized! I was driving to work and had pulled over excitedly to take the call. Everyone that has taken “the call” knows what a nerve racking moment that is but I had NO IDEA the feeling of devastation that was to come. I remember getting off of the phone still in complete shock. In that moment I became so angry. Yes, I was in disbelief at the current, horrific news but clearly ALL the other “moments” over the previous 3 years were very present as well. I could do nothing except scream and slam my fists into the steering wheel. For hours literally all I could do was cry, shake my head and scream. This was my moment. This level of emotional trauma was a tipping point. It opened something in my heart and my mind. That something was acceptance. Acceptance to the path, my path to motherhood via embryo donation. Not just because it appeared to be my only option, but because it was the option for me. Because I had been led here to THESE babies. There was only one explanation….they were made for me.

Q: How do you handle situations when well meaning acquaintances ask who your child looks like or makes a comment about discrepancies in physical appearance?

A: I know not everyone is as open as me although, I too, am not always confident that I am handling it the “correct way”. My kids are young but I don’t ever want them to feel that I am in anyway “concealing” that truth, which is hard because it might just be an appropriate privacy thing when you “go along” with the statements. However, to young children that are able to “sense” but can’t always understand the implications and differences between privacy and secrecy it can be tricky. So, I “practice” telling a “version” of their story depending on the asker. If it’s a close acquaintance I usually will say, “yeah, you know I did have blonde hair as a kid but he/she was adopted as an embryo and grown by me, but amazingly there ARE physical similarities.” Or, “Yeah they don’t look like their daddy since there’s no genetic relation, but they totally act like him!” If a stranger makes a comment, I usually just agree and then proceed to gush over how sweet and beautiful they are. I know that for myself on this path of maintaining a healthy transparency, I must try to find a balance of being proud and proclaiming how freaking awesome and beautiful their story is and just being a normal mom that has awesome, beautiful children.

Click Here to Buy the Book for Mom & Dad Families Grown Through Embryo Donation

For more on my journey click here…